Broken

I have finally got rid of John Barber for good now!

The relationship had been on and off over this last year (2013-2014). I first got with him in the summer of 2002 (I think) and after what I thought was 10 years of happiness - apart from the odd fall outs, we had a few pretty heated arguments and after a few weeks I had well and truly had enough. John proved to me that he was no man, but a mouse. A terrible Dad and a selfish pig.

We fought, argued and eventually separated after being together for ten years and having two children.

This was the man I loved and trusted and would of done anything for but he broke me. He broke me to the point of me committing suicide (but thanks to my mum and her motherly instincts, the attempt failed).

Even though, for good reason - I was so fucked off with John, I still missed him. After all, ten years is a long time and was my first proper relationship with someone I thought I'd be with forever.

I soon was lost, severely depressed and not long after diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa (I am still battling with this condition 4 years on). I will be honest, I just wanted him back. I wanted life to go back to how things were, I was finding 'change' seriously difficult and spiraling out of control - fast!

During the three year split, I went off the rails, hit rock bottom and went kind of crazy. This is why...

1. Instead of me smashing things or punching people I seem to let off steam in a very unusual way and due to all the negative energy I was releasing, the house came under attack by a poltergeist! Yes I swear it is the honest truth so believe it or don't believe it, I can't force you.

2. I was now a single mum on state benefits with no friends and no family to help, support or just be a shoulder for me to cry on within a 50 mile radius.

3. I started to drink heavily followed by a now regular daily intake of amphetamines.

4. John left me over £60,000 in debt with council, council tax, gas, electric and water and for the whole duration of the three year split - he didn't once send me money for the up keep of his own two children (even though he earned a decent wage as a car salesman with a company car and all the perks that goes with the job), not a single penny.

So, one thing led to another and I ended up being took under the wing of what I would now class as a close knit, tactical bullying, devil worship - occultists. A sect, cult, whatever you want to call it.

I thought these were good people at first but they brain washed me, used mind control techniques and through constant contact they systematically broke down a person's sense of self. Trust me, this is honest info too.